Birthdays and Forgiveness

So it was my birthday yesterday. I decided on a few things for the day:

1- I would take the day off from work to avoid any irritation on "My Day"
2- I would sleep in
3- I would get my Tattoo done
4- I would get my hair done
5- I would have dinner with my mom's boyfriend- it's his birthday too

So I did take the day off and I don't regret it although I did have to skip a meeting with Moby which would have been super cool. Se La Vie! I did sleep in and it was just the way to start the day- truly rested! I went to get my Tattoo done at the place where I got my first and found that it had burnt down- SHOCK led to OK I'll re-route and get it done closer to where I live now. I moved on to get my hair done and then met up with my mom's boyfriend- which is an understatement of sorts. This man is actually my brothers' father. He was the love of my mother's life- her words. They never married, but they first met when she was 7 or 8 months pregnant with me. They had a life long relationship and I hated him most of my life. I didn't like that he never married my mom. I didn't like that he left when my brothers were still little. I didn't like that he came around when he wanted and wasn't really there to show my brothers how to become the men they needed to become. I didn't like many things about this guy and when ever my mom would ask "Do you ever think of him like a dad" I flat out said "No, Never" and I think that hurt her, but I didn't care. I didn't want her with him - her door was always open to him and I hated that. I believed she deserved better, I believed she never got what she deserved because she had this on again off again thing with him. He was abusive to us all and I believed our lives were worse off because of him. For that and so many other reasons I won't get into I despised this man and everything he did to my family.

For my birthday I forgave him. I did not tell him I forgave him because that's between me and God.....but my having a B-day dinner at all with him should have been a clue to anyone who knows me. I have made that decision and I intend to try my best to live that out- because that's what God wants for me- to give away hate and embrace forgiveness. So on my birthday and his that's what I did- I even invited him to Thanksgiving Dinner- my second SHOCK of the day.

After dinner I drove to the Tattoo place close to my house and found that it was closed so I went home and watched Dancing with the Stars - I guess I'll have to get my Tattoo done some other day.