A Lesson in what to want and what not to want

Tonight after my Business Law final I went out to a movie to take the edge off. I went to see Revolutionary Road staring Leonardo DeCaprio and Kate Winslet. It was a really sad movie to watch. I had a feeling from the trailers it wasn't an upbeat movie, but I didn't think it would cut to the core of what I do NOT want from a marriage. Frank Wheeler is a gentile manipulator and I truly question whether he truly loves his wife at all. He seems to be easily swayed by those forces around him and makes no true decisions for himself, rather is afraid to make any significant step toward the unknown even with the support and love of his wife. He instead cringes away from love and insists on subjecting himself and his wife to a life they both don't want to live- out of some strange need to be conventional which I can appreciate- conventional is easy after all, but knowing how much it is hurting his wife and still proceeding makes him so pitiful. I pity him because in the end he does lose it all and he has no one to blame but himself. He steps away from the love and devotion he could have if he trusted it enough to accept it. The wife is not entirely innocent either- her choices also come into play, but the movie is set in the 50's and it's obvious that she feel helpless to the decisions her husband is making and her thrashing out is the only thing left for her to do. I HATE that he tries to undermine her sanity!!!! I think there is nothing more despicable than that. It's one thing to hurt the ones you love without really knowing what your doing, but quite another to toy with one's own perception of sanity.

It really is a good movie and worth seeing if only for the lesson learned!

On the flip side over the holidays I also went to see the Teen Vampire flick called Twilight which was fun and spurred me and the other women in my family to decide to read the 4 books in the saga and what a GORGEOUS story it is! The movie, although fun, really does NOT do the books justice. Edward Cullen although described as the perfect man is far from it. He's self loathing and is confused about how he feels about God and life after death. He at times pushes the boundaries of allowing people their own opinions and feelings, but aren't we all flawed in that way as well. One thing is for certain and is redeemable about this character. He LOVES Bella!! He puts her ahead of everything especially his own self interest time and time again. Although he's not sure about God he insists on saving her soul- he cherishes it and fights for it throughout all 4 books. He makes mistake after mistake in that pursuit because he won't believe that his flawed character is capable of being forgiven and that he too has a soul worth saving. He struggles with the love he is given by Bella because he wants the best for her and doesn't really surrender to her love until the 3rd book - I actually don't think he ever believes he's truly worthy of that love. He just decides he's not stupid enough to be without it any longer and there really is no need for him to be. This made me really think about how being in love with someone does not mean you are allowing yourself to be loved by them. I thought about that alot and it rang true in some of the relationships I've been in. It really clarified some deep wounds for me and I'll be better equip to be on the lookout for such things now that I know there is a need to be. I was also touched by the patience Bella has to have with him in that regard....loving him, respecting him and challenging him all at the same time and it is worth it in the end and I can only hope to have such a love in my life. I've been praying for it actually ever since I read the books. I love that Edward is the one to insist on marrying Bella before they have sex and sticks to this. It's a beautiful thing to think of someone caring enough to not only wait, but to insist upon it. It makes the intentions of his heart all that more attractive, and that is why so many girls and women will if they haven't already fallen in love with the story of Edward & Bella.

I hope the Lord is speaking to me- preparing me for what maybe coming my way with these two very touching examples of what to want and what not want in a life partner so beautifully displayed in these films. Here's praying for getting it right if i'm blessed enough to get a shot at it!