So it's been a super long time since i've blogged because it's been a super sensitive time for me involving impending lay off's at my work and my deciding that I did not want to continue working there. I made my wishes known in the most sensitive way I could and that followed alot of anxiety and waiting.
My thoughts were filled with - will they let me go....will they try to fire me.....will they honor my wishes.....will I get enough severence pay to make it through school???
My brain was filled with quesitons and I had no answers- I just had fear of what was going to happen- even if it all happened the way that I wanted....and finally it did!
I'm still very much scared- I don't know if I can really allow myself to not work for a while. I am already thinking of looking at some opportunities that have presented themselves. I have already explored and seen what seems like a dead end for two potential futures for my career, but I know this may only seem that way- and I need not panic. I don't have to panic! I don't have to work till next May if I don't want to. My company the place that drained me emotionally and mentially did take VERY good care of me in that respect- it's a BEAUTIFUL thing- severence pay!
I feel like I broke up with my boyfriend in a good way- one in which we can both feel good about the time we spent together- we were just not right for one another- so we broke up and it's ok. That's the best analogy I can come up with.
So i'm back here because I am for the first time in my adult life I think going to spend the next phase of my life focused on who I am and see where I want to go- in all aspects. I want to be smart about where I go next professionally. I want to make more money and have a seperation from my work so I can actually have a private life. I am going to focus on my health- lose some weight, begin dating again, read books, connect with my creator and spend more quality me time than I think I ever have before. It's now or never- it's my life and now is the opportunity for me to get it back on track and make it what I always hoped it would be.
Wish me luck!
Monday, June 30, 2008
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