So my God-Daughter is set against me getting any more Tattoo's. She's 7 and shreaks whenever she discovers someone she knows has a Tattoo. I really took a beating when I told her I was getting a new one, but she's such a cute kid I really didn't mind it. She also has a fit if anyone smokes in front of her and she pleads for them to stop saying "It's Really Really Bad"! She wags her cute little finger and looks at you seriously as she tries to make you promise not to get that Tattoo or smoke that cigarette ever again.
The thing is she lives in this amazing little world she's somehow created for herself. She's very much the artist. She moves from one art project to the next with such untarnished creativity- you remember that right?.... when you were a kid and hadn't yet been told negative things like: 'you can't do this or that', 'your not good at this or that' or 'that idea sucked' sadly not just by other kids. Oh how our society fails to truely nuture our children.
As we grow older we inevitably grow more self conscious in what you do. We begin to censor ourselves when the truth is maybe the trick is to not listen to those nay sayers- that is probably the better route to go. That way you never stop running around like a crazy banshee- because it's more fun than caring how dirty you are despite how much fun your having. Reject those voices that tell you to do things a certain way- the acceptable way. Most of us do abandon what's fun for what's acceptable and it's sad really. Kids don't know that they don't have to conform. We put them in school where they learn to become responsible citizens. School along with everyone else in our society- including ourselves- slowly but surely train our young to conform to societal convention. It's necessary but at the same time sad if you really think about it.
Well that process hasn't really started in a major way for her yet and I LOVE it!! She's so caring that she'll wag her little finger at you and really mean what she is saying and I laugh a little inside everytime because this is serious business to her. I watch her play with her friends and do art projects with her glue gun and dance to some ridiculous song called "Lean Like a Cholo". I let her hug me as long as she wants and we are going to Sea World for her Birthday next month, but I will get my Tattoo cause as cute as she is-- i'm a grown up Damn It and i'll do what I want.
Wednesday, June 27, 2007
New Tattoo
I am getting a new Tattoo!!!
It's been YEARS since I got my last one. The thing is that when I got my first I felt like I really wanted another one right away- they say Tattoo's are addictive and I think somehow they are. So I waited, but I did get a second one and that one, now, I think is silly. Actually this 3rd one I am thinking of getting as a cover up to the 2nd, but I don't know that it will work.
Tattoo's I think are like decisions in your life. Sometimes you feel silly after you've chosen them, but what are you going to do what's done is done.
I decided to get this new tattoo as a tribute of sorts to the loss of my brothers, but I hadn't figured out what design to go with. I didn't want anything overt like their names. I wanted something beautiful and sudtle with a design that didn't scream out the meaning. In essence if I didn't share that it was a tribute to them- no one would know but me- and now you if your reading this. Then when my mom passed earlier this year I knew it will happen this year.
I've settled on the design: white birds soaring. I thought that would look good against my olive skin and flying birds give me the feeling of freedom and peace which I hope they are feeling now.
It's been YEARS since I got my last one. The thing is that when I got my first I felt like I really wanted another one right away- they say Tattoo's are addictive and I think somehow they are. So I waited, but I did get a second one and that one, now, I think is silly. Actually this 3rd one I am thinking of getting as a cover up to the 2nd, but I don't know that it will work.
Tattoo's I think are like decisions in your life. Sometimes you feel silly after you've chosen them, but what are you going to do what's done is done.
I decided to get this new tattoo as a tribute of sorts to the loss of my brothers, but I hadn't figured out what design to go with. I didn't want anything overt like their names. I wanted something beautiful and sudtle with a design that didn't scream out the meaning. In essence if I didn't share that it was a tribute to them- no one would know but me- and now you if your reading this. Then when my mom passed earlier this year I knew it will happen this year.
I've settled on the design: white birds soaring. I thought that would look good against my olive skin and flying birds give me the feeling of freedom and peace which I hope they are feeling now.
Tuesday, June 12, 2007
Fits For Grown ups
Have you ever been caught off guard by someone in your life that insists on getting their own way no matter what?
Yesterday was such a hard day for me- I literally cried for a couple of hours - partly because I'm a girl and hurtful behavior gets to me and partly and more importantly because someone I do respect ripped me a new one for something that was completely out of my control.......and he knew it.
So in my trying to snap out of my frustrated crying fit I asked myself: What did it accomplish for him to indulge this fit of self righteousness other than to cause me pain?
I think part of growing up is to realize when something is wrong and rejecting it. I understand being pissed about it to the extent that you do want to blow up- but let's be real here.....what is blowing up going to accomplish?? I think it's better to work toward making it right. If your not in the proper state of mind to take on that task then say so and move on until you are ready.
By no means am I saying that when a person is wronged as was the case above that you should just roll over and take it. I wouldn't and I say you shouldn't either. Backbone is the base for integrity and that's something I would never want to deny anyone. I just think a total history of the person your dealing with should count for something. Some things no matter how hard you try will not go your way. It's called a "difference of opinion" or "doing what's best for #1" or how ever way you want to think about it, but in the end all things can not and will not be as you'd like them to be. Recognizing that and making a choice to not be cruel to innocent parties who have treated you well and want to work with you to better situations is important.
How you treat people is important!
So I sit here today at around the same time as yesterdays incident and I think we are still in the same exact place as yesterday. We still have not resolved the point of contention....both of us had a fit.... and I for one don't feel any better about the situation. I don't know if he does-- he may, but I doubt it cause he's not getting what he wants.
What did happen for sure is: I understand no matter what becomes of this situation that this person will not hesitate to disrespect me and I have been "put on notice" but I in turn have less respect for him overall and am questioning how I'll handle my future interaction with him. Burning your bridges can make for a choppy path in the future.
Yesterday was such a hard day for me- I literally cried for a couple of hours - partly because I'm a girl and hurtful behavior gets to me and partly and more importantly because someone I do respect ripped me a new one for something that was completely out of my control.......and he knew it.
So in my trying to snap out of my frustrated crying fit I asked myself: What did it accomplish for him to indulge this fit of self righteousness other than to cause me pain?
I think part of growing up is to realize when something is wrong and rejecting it. I understand being pissed about it to the extent that you do want to blow up- but let's be real here.....what is blowing up going to accomplish?? I think it's better to work toward making it right. If your not in the proper state of mind to take on that task then say so and move on until you are ready.
By no means am I saying that when a person is wronged as was the case above that you should just roll over and take it. I wouldn't and I say you shouldn't either. Backbone is the base for integrity and that's something I would never want to deny anyone. I just think a total history of the person your dealing with should count for something. Some things no matter how hard you try will not go your way. It's called a "difference of opinion" or "doing what's best for #1" or how ever way you want to think about it, but in the end all things can not and will not be as you'd like them to be. Recognizing that and making a choice to not be cruel to innocent parties who have treated you well and want to work with you to better situations is important.
How you treat people is important!
So I sit here today at around the same time as yesterdays incident and I think we are still in the same exact place as yesterday. We still have not resolved the point of contention....both of us had a fit.... and I for one don't feel any better about the situation. I don't know if he does-- he may, but I doubt it cause he's not getting what he wants.
What did happen for sure is: I understand no matter what becomes of this situation that this person will not hesitate to disrespect me and I have been "put on notice" but I in turn have less respect for him overall and am questioning how I'll handle my future interaction with him. Burning your bridges can make for a choppy path in the future.
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